Brace yourself! (Whenever I think that phrase, I think it in a Irish accent. Weird.)

I've been up since 3am. Took some meds & an ice-pack for a migraine. Doesn't look like it's going to be alleviated anytime soon. Meh.

My tastebuds are going whacko lately. I drank some fruit-punch Kool-Aid and I almost spat it out because it tasted like cinnamon. I ate a bite of ice-cream and almost spat it out because I thought it tasted like spaghetti. Started to eat a bowl of cereal and it tasted like tacos. I don't get it. I suppose I should have just spat it out and been done with it already. The only thing that has tasted really good lately is whole wheat toast with raw honey. Yum.

I've been reading my great-great-grandparents' history. It's fascinating! So glad my Mom helped put it together with a few of her cousins. Makes me sad though reflecting on my own history though. In the sense that I don't know any of my cousins except for a few names. Also, it makes me sad that I don't know anything about my Mom's history either or my Dad's for that matter. I know of a few token stories but nothing in depth. I also really don't know my own personal history of when I was little. I would love to read my Mom's journal about what they had to go through when I was sick (meningitis & resulting hearing-loss.) I've been asking for just my personal history that she wrote down but... it's just not a priority to that person who has all the geneology-related stuff. Ah well. I'll keep hoping & praying to get it.

Within a week, I lost 6 piano students. Six out of nine. One family (of 2 students) had to drop out because of financial reasons. That always makes me sad when that happens. Especially in this case where the kids really had talent and were EXCITED to learn to play the piano. I would have loved to have been able to offer a scholarship! One family (of 2 students) dropped out because the mother took on a 2nd job and just didn't have time to bring them over. The husband got upset that she made that decision without him so he reinstated one of the kids and added himself to my roster of students. Awkward. The 3rd family (of 2 students) dropped out because she didn't want to keep fighting her kids to practice.

That situation really bugs me. The kids seem to rule the roost which dumbfounds me. I have a hard time understanding because in my family growing up, we just didn't have a choice. We were all expected to learn to play the piano. That's 11 kids, yo. While not all of us took lessons for years and years, at the very least - we all learned how to read music. Which made for awesome Christmas parties when we all sang and for road-trips where we would sing rounds. Anyway, I got frustrated when the mother kept self-defeating everything she said. She does that by saying, "I don't know." after everything! Not just after saying, "I try to get them to practice for the 10 minutes but I don't know. It's just so hard." Then in a situation where we are trying to figure out the best table-arrrangement for a ward party, "I would just line them up in this fashion but I don't know." It's this immediate retreat after an opinion is stated. Drives me batty!  She's a great lady but it makes me sad that she does that. It also makes me sad that she's not pushing the girls even just a little bit because they have talent in spades. AHHHH. Okay, enough about that.

My eye-sight is getting worse. I'm near-sighted and I wear contacts. Lately, I've noticed that I can't see anything up close. If I need to clip my toddler's nails, I have to take my contacts out to be able to see so I don't clip skin. So not cool. I really need to get my eyes checked but it's hard making appointments for anything as I'm house-bound with no car. That gets me so depressed that I just have to get off that subject. (Lately as in the past couple of years. I know - talk about procrastination!)

I have stopped nursing. (Don't judge.) I was putting my son down last night and he was just fighting it. I put him in bed and knelt down by him and he started crying. "Why are you crying?" " I want to nurse!" Which tore my heart. A couple of months ago, I asked him why he wanted to keep nursing and he looked up and said, "Because I love you." Ah! We were only nursing at night and I loved that time where it was just us. Rocking back and forth. He only nursed for maximum of 10 minutes but ohhh I am so glad I got all this time with him. I've always hated that I couldn't nurse my other two because of that bond that is created during that time. So. I'm having a lot of meloncholy moments in that he's my last. Every day he's getting older and more independent and while I'm excited to see him grow, I just get so sad that he's not a little baby anymore. One bright thing - I never have to change a diaper again. Well, I'll change diapers when I get grandchildren. I'm okay with that. ;)

I know, not much happy light-hearted stuff in here but I did warn you. You know, in an Irish accent.