The colors are off on this picture... sorry about that. Her face is NOT dirty nor is she turning purple. And that glow on my face? Seriously not related to pregnancy. Anyway. See how happy we are here? See the joy on each of our faces from spending time together? See it? You've got it stuck in your mind yet? Okay, now take this picture and just crumble it up and that's how things have been lately. Really. She is going through such a tough time which translates into a tough time for the whole family. For all the child-rearing books in the world, authors have yet to come up with one that deals specifically with my family. I sorely need help with her.
She's struggling with making good choices. Being rude, disrespectful, stubborn over the silliest (to me) things, following the wrong crowd (really? how can 7yo kids be the "wrong" crowd already?), not listening, just being cranky-pants in general and to the extreme. My heart aches for her as I see her struggling and is confused about a lot of things. I wish I could erase all those negative feelings and behaviors she's dealing with. Yet, I know that she also has to learn how to overcome these challenges...
My friend made the comment that she wonders if Heavenly Father feels like that with us. He must. We deliberately make poor choices when we KNOW better. Yet, we're stubborn little creatures. He gives us the tools to choose wisely and when we don't use those tools, feels frustrated & sad. Yet, and I'll emphasize the YET here... He doesn't give up His hope nor does He give up loving us. The supreme example of the perfect parent. Something that I'm striving for but man! It's hard! It makes me want to scream, cry, and pull my hair out!
Being a parent is one of the most humbling experiences that one could experience, in my opinion. I GET why we need to learn how to be a parent. I get why she needs to learn how to let the good person she is, shine through. What I don't get is how it hurts so much and hurts so many. All part of the learning and I... think I now get it. While I don't like it, no! not one bit, I do get that those scars somehow enables us to love even more.
3 comments:
I love your thoughts on this. I think Heavenly Father probably does feel that way with us... isn't it reassuring to know that he won't ever give up on us?
I taught a lesson in RS one time and there was a quote about how much Joseph Smith's mother believed in him. And I wondered... how much could my kids accomplish if I showed that much faith in them?? But you're right... it's so hard to watch your kids make choices that you know will hurt them. I wish I had some kind of great, wise advice for you... one thing I've learned with my kids is that usually bad behaviors are just a faze. They're stretching, growing, and pushing all the boundaries. Eventually they figure it out.
Okay... monster comment over ;) Good luck!
It is all part of growing up, I guess. I miss the days of being a superhero to my kids. I know that they have to grow and find their own path, but I miss hearing that I am the bestest mommy in the world. I hope, someday, that they will think of me that way again.
There are moments of pure joy, though, when love shines through. It is a stronger, different kind of love, because it comes from a place of more perspective... like they love me knowing my faults as a human being, instead of loving me for being the all knowing, all powerful, superhuman mommy!
I don't know if that will cheer you up, but just drown her with kindness every time she gets cranky pants. She will come around in the end and love you all the more for your patience and example! We are not just living in the moment, we are creating an eternity of memories and relationships. I just wish I had realized it sooner!
So, um, have you said that to her? The whole Heavenly Father part... do you think it might strike a chord with her?
I'm sorry that you both are struggling. I don't have a lot to say about that. I'm just sorry.
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