Why have I privatized my blog? I didn't want to but my husband had an incident at work where a (semi) co-worker came up to him and told him that he hoped his wife gets better. It threw Hero off and creeped him out. Especially as this guy had been reading my blog to look for pictures of our kids. He's a single guy... and not that we have anything against single guys, it's just... kinda creepy to be looking for pics of kids of somebody you hardly know. Ja? Plus, my next door neighbor read it too but only talks to my husband. Oh, and he's single too.
Hm.
Anyway - that's the scoop. Like I said, I didn't want to go private as I feel it's important to talk about things so maybe someday I'll open it up again when Hero doesn't feel like the creep from work is going to be looking for my blog.
Update on the depression...
Yesterday was a horrific day. Dealing with depression is hard enough. But when I had to get up every hour, on the hour because of sick little baby? Yikes! And then having my husband tell me I need to start pumping? Uh hello. It was a good thing that I was so exhausted otherwise he would've had to go to work with his eyes gouged out. (I'm totally kidding but man o MAN!) And yes, we later talked about it and he thought he was being helpful and I ever so gently (hahahha) told him that telling me I need to pump is not helping. Getting up and taking the baby IS helping. In any case, it's all sorted out. :)
It's frustrating that I still need to wait for the meds to kick in (2-6 weeks is what my midwife told me). I know it's not a magic pill... I just need my moods to stabilize a bit so I can function. To be able to not just sit in my chair and completely ignore the house, grouch at the kids, or give my Hero the silent treatment. Those things are NOT me. Yet I feel powerless to change it. Hopefully I'll get set up with the therapist soon too. It'll be nice to talk with somebody to help sort things out.
I went for a walk last night with gringa and it felt good to feel the wind on my face. It was all just mindless chatter... which is fine with me. I felt as if I were to delve into me, I would literally just shatter or else melt into a puddle of crazy emotions.
What a jumbled post.
8 comments:
Your last comment about shattering if you talk about it is exactly how I feel! Life is not all roses here & while I appreciate neighbors for caring, I really DON'T want to talk about it, either.
So glad you are back in my life, Sara! Hugs from afar...
By the way, did I already tell you that I love you blog template? 'Cause I do. :D
aw. I hope things do start to settle down and get sorted for you. I wish I had some magical power to make it all better but it sounds to me like you're doing a good job of recognizing the symptoms, willing to take control and working on doing something about it. Even if you feel it's just too much. I love you Fluf. You're a strong woman. Please feel free to let me know if I can help in some way or just to vent on. :)
And yeah, creepola about the co-worker. How'd he know about your blog? ;(
That is way weird about the single guys. I'd definitely go private too.
Hey missy. I've been neglecting your blog far too long. I had no idea. I love you and want you to know I am right there with you. I've had PPD with all of my kids to some degree and have tried meds with a couple. It is scary, but I'm so proud of you for taking that first step and talking to your midwife about it. I swear, not to be cliche, but that's half the battle. Hang in there sissy!
wow thats weird and totally understand the need to go private. Hugs
Eeew. Creepy single guys are icky.
Glad you got THAT taken care of.
I remember when my doc told me it would take 2-6 weeks for the meds to kick in after Thor was born. I had been dealing with the depression by spending money. The way I dealt with that, "this is not an instant magic pill" comment was - I went and bought two new lamps for my living room.
I hope to have a friend closeby that I can mindless chatter with in the evenings... You're lucky. Hope you realize that.
Love you.
CREEPY!
But yeah. I'm so relieved for you. You know, I worry about you. :) Hope things can all line up for you.
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