The continuation of the temple recommend story...

My youngest son had not been sleeping well. He's got 2 2-year molars coming in which contributes to his restless nights & runny nose. He HATES it when his nose is runny. So completely different from Big Guy who was always perfectly content (still is) to just let it run and run and run. So gross. Anyway, due to sleepless nights, I was so exhausted Friday that all I wanted to do is just have a quiet evening at home and go to bed early. Hero was of the same mindset. But you know what? We kept our thoughts to ourselves and pushed through to attend the ward temple night. It truly is a miracle we kept our mouths shut especially in lieu of the fact that the temple is about an hour away. The ward provided babysitting in the local chapel across the street from the temple. If it hadn't been for that, we really would've found excuses to not attend.

Besides from getting lost because of the seemingly endless corriders, I finally made my way to the assembly room where our Bishop & the temple president were to share a few thoughts. I'm writing them down because I want to be able to turn back to this when I need to.

The temple president got up and thanked us all for the sacrifices we made to attend the temple. He was so happy to see many of us in attendance. Then he said he was certain that we had come with worries, concerns, and burdens. But then the next thing he said surprised me. He said to put them away and lock them up. To give no more thought to them. That those things will still be there when we come out of the temple. Focus on being open to the Spirit to learn something new. Focus on the service that we are providing for those who have passed on. He promised that if we did so, we would have strength to carry those burdens when we came out.

I started weeping. I had always thought we were to take our concerns & such to the temple so this was foreign to me. However, I did as he counseled. I locked up all of my cares away. Prayed within my heart to learn something new and to think about the woman who I would be serving as proxy for. And you know something? Once I did that, there was a sense of peace in my heart. The temple president was right. Those things I've been worrying about, well - nothing I can do about it then so why not just breathe and serve.

The Bishop then got up and reminded us of our ward's 3rd quarter focus (the Bishopric prayerfully decides on a focus for the ward to engage in) of "To the Rescue." Whether it's through a smile, an act of service, or whatever we're inspired to do. Again, I wept. (What's with all this weeping?) We were rescued through help from the church. I hate to say it, but we were about to be evicted from our home. We had done everything we could think of including selling things of value to just eke out a living. We just couldn't do it. It was humbling to have to ask for help. Yet, we did and our Bishop was so loving, kind and compassionate about it. He reviewed all of our finances and said, we are doing everything we can and if we just got a little bit of help, that would help us start getting ahead. He outlined everything that he, as a representative of our church, would do for us. He knew this would help us because we had sacrificed so much to make it. Hero broke down, it was really hard for him to say he was unable to take care of his family. (Please don't judge him or us. There are those that would say we should have seen this coming. Perhaps. However, you don't know the whole story nor will I go into it here.)

Towards the end of our time in the temple, Hero and I sat together and just breathed. He looked at me and said, "I'm sorry." There was so much conveyed through those few words. Even now, my heart swells with the remembrance of the look in his eyes, the tears streaming down, the tightness of his grasp upon my hands. He was sorry for all the heartache, he was sorry that he hadn't been a worthy priesthood holder (he is now!) He choked up as he told me, "I didn't think I'd ever see you in the temple again. After all I had done, after all the struggles you've gone through. I am so glad we're here."

My heart swelled with love, with lightness of being, with hope! How wonderful it was to be there! To serve! To share tender moments in a sacred room with my husband!

You know something else? When we walked out of the temple to go pick up our kids, I felt lighter. I felt stronger. We're going to make it. Yes we are!