Yesterday my sister Stephanie & I spent the day doing happy things. :) Oh and we also went to Red Robin's for lunch with my 3yo Little Man. You know, I really love all my sisters and I really love that we all have a warped & quirky sense of humor. Thanks Stephie for coming out! :)

Which brings me to my sister Barbara. She's my oldest sister. She was 17 when I was born, hence, she became my 2nd mom. Not surprising really as I was the most beautiful baby in the world. Ok, ok... I was number 9 so my mom needed a little help! lol!

I got a call in June from my sister Julie (now you've met 3!) who had the terrible burden of telling me that Barbie had passed away. She was 56. She left behind her husband and three children. My world came crashing down yet again. In 2001, my dad passed away. In 2006, my mom passed away. Now this year, my sister passed away. You know, I'm really quite done with people dying in my family! YOU HEAR THAT FAMILY? STOP IT!

I don't really have memories of her when I was young. She went off to college and then got married and moved away. What I do remember is her visiting our family. My mom would go to extra lengths to make things comfortable for her and bake her favorite cookies. (Jam-filled cookies) While I had to go to school and didn't get to visit much, I remember the feelings of being so loved by her. She always had a bright smile, tight hug just for me. I'm sure she did for the other sibs but I just remember how special I felt with her.

It wasn't until she and her family moved to WA that we were able to see each other more. I babysat for her. A LOT. I also got to be involved with her dancing group at her daughter's elementary school. Not an exciting job but I was able to be with her. Then as I got older, I got to work on the make-up crew for the plays & musicals she put on for our church. Later becoming the make-up artist in charge of the crew. I loved watching her direct, coach and otherwise really bring people's talents out. I loved how she tried to involve everyone in things even if they didn't get the part they wanted. She made them feel important and essential. I loved that I got to teach her daughter piano. I loved having family barbeques out at her house. I mean, EVERYONE came. That's 11 siblings PLUS all the families!

And I miss her. I miss her not being there for me to call and tell her how the pregnancy is going. I miss not being able to send her emails with the latest adventures of my kids. I miss not hearing about the books she's been reading and about the dolls she's been collecting. I miss her laugh. I miss her incredibly blue eyes. I miss her telling me she loves me. While I know that life is short and she's just beyond the veil and she still loves me.... I miss her. And need her.